Pick what fits. Each one says how worried to be and what to do next.
Act on theseStrangers and contact
An adult or older teen asks them to keep chats secret
What it can look like: "Don't tell your parents." Chats that get deleted straight away. A new "friend" who is always available.
Why it matters and what to do
Secrecy is the main tool in grooming. It makes a child feel special while cutting them off from people who would help.
- Stay calm and keep your child on side. Don't confront the other person.
- Screenshot the chat, the profile and the username before anything is deleted.
- Block, then report to the platform and to ACCCE (accce.gov.au).
- Call 000 if a child is in immediate danger.
Act on theseStrangers and contact
Someone wants to move the chat to a private app
What it can look like: "Add me on Snap." "Let's talk on Discord." "Delete this chat and message me there."
Why it matters and what to do
Moving somewhere private means fewer safety tools and no moderators. It is a common step when someone is testing how far they can go.
- Ask your child who it is and how they know them, without blame.
- Keep screenshots of the request.
- Block and report if the person is a stranger or an adult.
- Agree on a simple rule: new contacts get checked with you first.
Act on theseStrangers and contact
Gifts, money or game currency from someone they've never met
What it can look like: New skins, Robux or V-Bucks from a "friend". Gift cards, or a sudden new phone or game.
Why it matters and what to do
Gifts build a sense of owing something. They are used both by groomers and by scammers.
- Ask where it came from, calmly.
- Don't let them send anything back or promise anything.
- Screenshot the messages, block, and report to the platform.
Act on thesePhotos and pressure
Someone is asking for photos or to go on camera
What it can look like: Requests for "pics", for a video call with the camera on, or to "prove" they're real.
Why it matters and what to do
For anyone under 18, sexual images are never okay to ask for, and a request is a serious red flag. Sending them can be illegal for the child too, which is why it is so important they feel safe telling you.
- Tell them they're not in trouble and you're glad they told you.
- Keep the evidence. Do not forward or delete the images.
- Stop contact, then report to eSafety (esafety.gov.au) and ACCCE (accce.gov.au).
- Kids Helpline on 1800 55 1800 can talk with them.
Act on thesePhotos and pressure
Someone is threatening to share their photos unless they pay or send more
What it can look like: A message saying "pay me or everyone sees this." Panic, a sudden need for money or gift cards.
Why it matters and what to do
This is sextortion. It is usually run by organised scammers, often targeting teen boys. Paying does not make it stop.
- Do not pay and do not send more.
- Stop replying, and don't delete the chat. Screenshot everything.
- Report to ACCCE and eSafety. If they're in distress, call Kids Helpline or Lifeline.
- Remind them clearly: this is not their fault and many young people have been caught this way.
Act on thesePhotos and pressure
A fake or edited image of them is going around
What it can look like: A deepfake or edited photo shared in a chat, or a real image shared without permission.
Why it matters and what to do
Sharing fake or private sexual images of a young person is serious abuse and can be a crime. It can hurt badly even when everyone knows it's fake.
- Take screenshots with the dates and who posted it.
- Report it to the platform and to eSafety, which can help get it taken down.
- Tell the school if other students are involved.
- Check how they're coping. Shame and fear are common.
Act on theseBullying
Ongoing targeted meanness
What it can look like: A pile-on in a group chat, fake accounts, shared screenshots, being left out on purpose, or someone posting their address or school (doxxing).
Why it matters and what to do
One-off rudeness is normal. Repeated, targeted attacks wear kids down and can follow them home.
- Keep screenshots, with dates and usernames.
- Tell them to avoid replying or getting into a fight online.
- Report to the platform, then to eSafety if it isn't removed.
- Tell the school. Call police if there are threats or someone's address has been shared.
Act on theseMood and behaviour
They talk about hurting themselves or not wanting to be here
What it can look like: Comments like "everyone would be better off without me", giving things away, or joking about dying that doesn't feel like a joke.
Why it matters and what to do
Take it seriously, even if it sounds casual. Asking directly doesn't plant the idea. It usually brings relief.
- Stay calm and ask plainly: "Are you thinking about hurting yourself?" Listen first.
- Call 000 if they're in immediate danger.
- Kids Helpline 1800 55 1800 (24/7) and Lifeline 13 11 14 can help right now.
- Book a GP visit soon and don't leave them alone if you're worried tonight.
Act on theseMoney and scams
A scam or "free" offer
What it can look like: Free Robux or V-Bucks, a "generator", a link to log in with their game password, someone asking for gift cards.
Why it matters and what to do
Scams aimed at kids often steal accounts or money. Giving a password away can lose the account and anything tied to it.
- Don't click or log in. Change the password and turn on two-step login if they did.
- Contact the game or platform support to recover the account.
- Report it at Scamwatch (scamwatch.gov.au).
- Talk about how real giveaways never ask for passwords.
Act on theseMoney and scams
Spending they can't explain
What it can look like: Unknown charges, gift cards, or lots of in-game spending. Interest in loot boxes, skin trading or betting sites.
Why it matters and what to do
Loot boxes and skin betting work like gambling and can drift into real gambling.
- Check your payment cards and app store purchases.
- Turn on purchase approval and spending limits.
- Talk about how these games are designed to keep people spending.
- Block any betting sites and call Gambling Help on 1800 858 858 if it's serious.
Keep an eyeMood and behaviour
Sudden secrecy about their phone
What it can look like: Turning the screen away, deleting chats, a new lock code, getting angry when you come near.
Why it matters and what to do
It could be a crush, a private joke or normal growing up. It could also be hiding something. The change is what matters.
- Stay curious, not accusing: "You seem to want more privacy lately. Is something up?"
- Check whether other signs are showing too.
- Agree what privacy looks like at their age and what you'd want to be told about.
Keep an eyeMood and behaviour
A big mood shift after being online
What it can look like: Upset, angry or flat after scrolling or gaming. Dreading school. Not wanting to look at their phone, or being unable to stop.
Why it matters and what to do
Something online may be affecting them, like comparison, a falling-out or a mean comment.
- Ask about it at a calm moment, like a drive or walking the dog.
- Look at what they've been watching and who they're talking to together.
- Get support from the school or a GP if it lasts more than a couple of weeks.
Keep an eyeScreen habits
Phone at night, or sleep slipping
What it can look like: Awake late, tired at school, scrolling in bed.
Why it matters and what to do
Poor sleep affects mood, learning and behaviour, and phones in bedrooms make it harder to switch off.
- Set a household charging spot outside bedrooms, for everyone including adults.
- Use the phone's downtime or bedtime mode.
- Agree it together, rather than just taking the phone.
Keep an eyeStrangers and contact
A new second account or burner
What it can look like: A "spam account", an alt, or a new username you don't recognise.
Why it matters and what to do
Lots of teens have a close-friends account, and that's fine. A hidden one can also be used to dodge blocks or to hide contact with others.
- Ask what it's for and who follows it.
- Check that it's set to private.
- Be curious about it first. Banning it usually just pushes it further underground.
Keep an eyeMood and behaviour
Pulling away from friends or things they love
What it can look like: Dropping hobbies or sport, not seeing mates, more time alone with a device.
Why it matters and what to do
A shift can mean bullying, low mood or a very absorbing online world.
- Spend one-on-one time doing something they like.
- Ask open questions about friends.
- Talk to the school or a GP if it carries on.
Keep an eyeWhat they watch
Following extreme diet, looks or "tough guy" content
What it can look like: Videos about extreme diets, body checking, "looksmaxxing", or influencers who put others down.
Why it matters and what to do
Feeds learn what holds attention and can pull kids into harsh ideas about bodies or about men and women.
- Watch a few of the videos with them and ask what they think.
- Teach them to use "not interested" and to reset or clear their recommendations.
- For worries about eating, get help early. Butterfly Foundation 1800 33 4673.
Probably fineScreen habits
Hours playing a game with friends
What it can look like: Headset on, laughing, shouting, playing for a few hours at the weekend.
Why it matters and what to do
For a lot of kids, games are where they hang out. It's social time.
- Ask who they play with and what they enjoy.
- Agree sensible limits for school nights and mealtimes.
- Join in sometimes.
Probably fineScreen habits
Slang you don't understand
What it can look like: Words like "bet", "mid", "no cap", "rizz".
Why it matters and what to do
Almost all slang is harmless. Each generation has its own.
- Look it up in the Slang decoder.
- Ask them. Most kids love explaining it.
Probably fineStrangers and contact
A group chat with school friends
What it can look like: Constant pings, memes, inside jokes, screenshots of funny things.
Why it matters and what to do
It's how this generation stays close.
- Ask who's in the chat and how it's going.
- Talk about leaving chats that turn mean.
Probably fineStrangers and contact
Wanting privacy
What it can look like: A private account, a closed bedroom door, not wanting to show every message.
Why it matters and what to do
Teens need privacy to grow up. It isn't automatically a warning sign.
- Agree what they'd tell you about. Strangers, pressure, anything that scares them.
- Trust, plus a few rules, usually works better than constant checking.
Probably fineWhat they watch
Watching other people play or unbox
What it can look like: Streams, let's plays, reaction videos.
Why it matters and what to do
It looks odd to adults, but it's the new version of watching sport or TV.
- Ask what they like about it and who their favourites are.
- Check for chat and spending on streams.
Probably fineMood and behaviour
Getting upset when a game ends
What it can look like: Cranky when asked to stop, rage after losing.
Why it matters and what to do
Games are built to be hard to stop. This is common, especially for younger kids.
- Give a five-minute warning before time's up.
- Agree a stopping point before they start.